Uncertain Issues Related to Dating

Given the nature of dating, that you both are new to each other and therefore don’t know much about each other, there are certain gray areas that will arise. There will be situations in which it may not be clear what the proper protocol or action should be. In those cases, it may be best to be honest and to talk it over with the date.

One of those uncertain areas maybe who pays for the cost of the date. In bygone days when society was more chauvinistic, and when men had a clear and far superior role in the working world, there was no question that the cost of a date would be paid for by the male partner.

But times have changed. Though they may not totally enjoy equality in all aspects, nevertheless women are just as dominant as men in the workforce and they also have jobs that pay well. Despite that, in most situations there is still the expectation that, especially for the first date, the man will take care of the bill. If the woman insists on also paying, then the suggestion can be made that she pay an incidental cost such as the tip, parking etc. Following the first date or the first few dates, the woman can then cover the cost if she so chooses.

Other options to take care of the cost issue can be explored as the dating experience continues. Both of you can agree to pay for alternate dates, or, you both can each contribute to the cost as necessary. You can also go with the traditional method of having the man cover the cost if he is comfortable and able to do that. As you continue to date, the important thing is to be aware of each other’s financial status and to be considerate. That way, neither you or your date will feel any strain or feel financially pinched in any way, which is a situation you want to avoid as it takes away from completely enjoying the date.

Another situation that causes uncertainty is how to make the first contact when you see someone you like and whom you are interested in dating. It’s usually assumed that such attraction occurs with a man and so he has to summon up the courage to ask for that first date.

But many times women also see a male in whom they have an interest and would like to date. Although there are a brave few who will feel and have no fear in approaching a man for that first date, most won’t do so.

Regardless of the gender of the person who has that first interest in making contact for a first date, there are ways to arrange that first meeting without any awkward moments occurring. One way is to do so by minor manipulation. If you know a friend, colleague or anyone else who knows the person you’d like to date, then you simply have to find a way to have that person arrange a chance meeting.

And there’s also the chance that there will be a third party who independently knows both you and your date and who can arrange a meeting without either of you knowing. This usually happens when the mutual friend knows that you both like each other.

Another situation that can create a dilemma is when dates seem to be going okay but you know that you don’t want them to continue because you don’t want to continue seeing the person. You may have seen someone else you like more, you may have discovered something about the person or there may just be an intangible reason – something you can’t really identify – but you know that you aren’t as excited about the person and the date as you want to be.

You’ll need to communicate your feeling without causing hurt or disappointment. You can decrease the frequencies and length of dates for example. You could also say why you can’t continue seeing the person, such as you need time to sort out certain personal affairs. The important thing is to stop the dating process in a thoughtful and considerate way.

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