The Purpose of Dating
Before two people actually go on a first date, they would have made some connection. Even if a blind date is the first date, they still would have had some indirect contact by a third party, through a phone conversation or email. The real purpose of dating is there about contact and making a connection with someone. Contact can occur in several ways, but a connection may or may not happen right away, if at all.
Your first desire is that you want to date. You want to see someone and you have an attraction to that person, or you feel a connection, and you want to get to know the person better. By wanting to get to know the person, it’s like you want to prolong that initial attraction or standout quality that you saw in the individual. Dating is therefore a way to seek to confirm those initial beliefs, feelings or qualities you identified for or about the person.
But is what you seek to confirm real, imagined or not even present? That’s what dating is also about – discovery. It’s about discovering if the quality that attracted you to the person is really there, and also if there are other attractive and positive factors the person may also possess.
What is foremost in your mind, however, is what you really think the individual is like. But many times, your initial thoughts about a person reflect what you really hope or want the person to be like. And that is actually just imagined qualities that you are projecting on the individual who you desire as a potential date. That means there could be some conflict or disappointment when the individual truly reveals his or her qualities.
That’s because while you begin to date and you start to discover more about your date and the qualities that you initially noticed, you may or may not find those same qualities. And you may discover other qualities that are good and bad as you get to know your date more.
Based on what you discover, you will decide whether or not to continue to date the individual. But there are also other ways to find out about your date’s qualities, characteristics and personality except through dates. It may be worth it to also find out more through friends and family because the relationship your date has with them will also reveal a lot about the person.
In dating therefore, you also sometimes need to look beyond the individual to find out more about their world. That may be particularly true if you are dating someone who turns out to be secretive or very reserved and quiet. You could also be dating someone who doesn’t like to talk about their life. In those cases, a friend or family member can be very useful in revealing qualities about your date.
The places your date goes and the things your date likes to do can also serve a useful purpose in dating. They can indicate hidden characteristics and talent which wouldn’t otherwise have been seen.
For example, you could be dating a quiet and reserved person who likes to go bowling. So, when you actually go bowling on a date, you could discover that your date is not only a strong bowler but is also someone who is very competitive and focused when doing an activity like bowling. Those are positive characteristics that you wouldn’t have known about just from going on regular dates with the person.
So while regular dates will still have the primary purpose of helping you to discover more about the individual, you shouldn’t overlook other secondary means of information such as family and friends, the occasional unusual place your date may go and an activity that your date may enjoy doing from time to time.