The hook-up or Short-Term Relationship
One factor to consider and which often comes to the forefront in dating is how long should the dating association continue. One or both individuals will in some way have to make a determination about whether to continue to make time, and agreeing to spend money to keep going out on dates. This question can be answered by individuals who decide to ‘hook up.’
By so doing, individuals who are dating and who decide to ‘hook-up’ have pretty much by default decided that their dating relationship is going to be a short-term experience. That’s because a ‘hook-up’ is understood to be a short-term association.
Dating that involves hooking up evolved among college students and young, working adults. It seemed to evolve in part from the stress and frustration in the search for finding a date with whom a long-term relationship into the future seemed possible or probable. When there was a failure to find such dates, people felt even more pressured as time passed and their age increased. Additionally, not having a steady date invariably meant that periods of loneliness would be experienced.
But by meeting someone who at the onset is friendly and with whom you can also get along, both of you can agree to hook-up – to become friends, be intimately involved and to have fun. By hooking up, individuals don’t bother to burden themselves with concerns about issues such as long-term commitment, or of spending time together to determine if a long-term relationship will develop.
Dating someone who you have hooked up with means that you both have decided to be together primarily to have someone to share time with and to be able to engage in intimate sexual relations.
Regular dating involves individuals spending time together. But a lot of people will be very careful and will take a reasonable length of time to get to know a date before deciding to be very intimate with that person.
Dating that involves hooking-up can therefore get very intense. But despite this intense nature, dating that involves hooking-up is not demanding. Individuals who hook-up tend to not become pre-occupied with larger issues such as having and meeting expectations of a long-term or serious relationship.
As previously mentioned, hook-up by nature refers to a short-term situation. So long as that is understood, it means that any issues that relate to dating over a long-term period shouldn’t arise.
If long-term matters or issues related to prolonged dating arise, then it is quite likely that will cause the dating and hook-up to end. In a sense, introducing long-term issues into a short-term dating agreement is breaking what was agreed upon. Consequently, the hook-up will likely end.
Short-term dates that involve hooking-up and regular dating do have the similarity that they can also come to an end if one or both of the individuals who are hooked up meet someone new. The short-term date would have then run its course and it would be time for both individuals to move on.
Dating that involves hooking up clearly has some advantages and disadvantages. The advantages include the absence of pressure and of stress to try to please someone. There’s also the advantage of not being lonely, of having someone to share fun times with and to not have to think about or look too far into the future.
Not having to think much about the future while engaged in hook-up dating is somewhat of a double-sided sword, however. The disadvantage is that the future comes close with each passing day and it cannot be avoided. Time that is spent now and which ignores the future is time that is lost and which can’t be regained.
An added disadvantage of hook-up dating specifically related to females is that it can cause an individual to be labeled as promiscuous, which is a big negative factor.
Like so many things therefore, short-term dating or ‘hook-ups’ has some seemingly positive aspects. But as an individual, you have to consider what will be best for you. You also have to weigh the advantage and the disadvantages to make sure you aren’t sabotaging your future long-term dating prospects.