Status Considerations When Dating
In deciding to date someone, it’s common sense that there must be some quality that you can identify in the person that makes you feel comfortable to go out with the individual. Or, there must be something about the person that creates a desire to find out more about he or she.
That first initial attraction is sparked by curiosity. But if you continue to date the person, curiosity also will develop into taking into consideration the status of the individual. Consequently, a determination will have to be made about whether you and the individual are of equal or unequal status.
One of, or the top factor that is considered in terms of status is money – how much do you have? While money doesn’t make someone’s true character, it is important to know or to have an idea about how your date stacks up concerning money or financial matters. You may not need to know their total net worth, but you will need to get an idea of how the person is able to live and meet his or her expenses.
Why is this important? For starters, in dating, expenses will arise. There will be expenses for the date itself but also for gifts, and other incidental costs. So that, even if one party is always ‘paying for the date,’ it will be comforting to know that the other person is also in a position to pay. A bond with your date will also deepen if the gifts are given for occasions such as birthdays.
There’s a difference between being willing and able to pay for a date even if you don’t have to, and being unable to pay. In the latter scenario, such a person is dependent on the date while the former isn’t. If you are dating someone who is dependent, it could mean, or you could find that you also will be providing for other costs beyond the date. Unless you see or know that the situation is temporary for the individual, and that it likely will change, it’s not a strong incentive to continue dates with any anticipation of forming a closer bond for a serious relationship.
You can get an idea of how your date’s financial status stacks up by knowing their mode of employment. You can also get information from what the person says in conversation about things they buy and other activities that they engage in.
Another status factor to consider is the type of values the person has. It shouldn’t be difficult to determine this as the behavior, mannerisms and some things that are important to your date, will be evident from the start of even the very first date.
Values are important because differences can cause personality clashes and deflated expectation. If expectations are dashed during your dating experience, then its quite likely there won’t be much to enjoy. Having fun means having your expectations met, or getting surprises. If your expectations are dashed on a date, it will cause a disappointed feeling. If you are feeling disappointed, it isn’t conducive to having fun.
The level of education that your date has is also another indication of status. Generally, the lower the level of education one has, the more limited their outlook and knowledge will be. And they will also likely be limited in what they can aspire toward and achieve. That’s not always the case as some people without much education have achieved astounding accomplishments. But generally, that’s not the case.
Given that therefore, you need to look at your aspirations, those of your date and make an assessment of how the level of education you both have may affect the time spent together on future dates or for the long-term, should a closer bond develop from the dating experience.