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A pour man and his child share a bunk mattress, one evening the person comes into mattress with a ladies the child is asleep, the pour man says say lettuce if you would like it more durable say tomato if you would like it sooner,...

A drunken man in Alaska decides to go ice fishing. So he packs up his stuff and goes out onto the ice. He begins sawing a gap within the ice, and a loud booming voice says, "YOU WILL FIND NO FISH UNDER THAT ICE!" The...