Identifying Lust While Dating
Individuals can joke about lustily being in love, but the two emotions are very different and will lead to different results and outcomes while dating. It’s therefore very important to know and be able to identify the differences between the two emotions so that any bond or friendship you form is not based on a shallow and false belief.
Lust can be described as having strong sexual desire or an intense longing for something. Those are feelings and emotions that will be evident in your dating relationship if it progresses to being serious. But those feelings and emotions aren’t love. The danger is therefore in confusing or mistaking such strong feelings and emotions for deep love and believing that they can sustain a strong bond.
Actions that define lust include being extremely passionate, possessive, jealous and envious, having a need to constantly see or be in communication with someone. Being extremely passionate can be good and bad. Your date may be very passionate in wanting to always display affection for you. But there’s also the passion that causes one individual to hurt or harm another, sometimes fatally, when an equal amount of passion is not returned.
Such extreme passion can also be linked to being possessive. A possessive date will want you to be with them always and only and will object and be angry about time you spend with other friends because he or she will feel threatened by other relationships and friendships you have. A date who is very possessive will therefore not give you personal space or time to explore your interests because of their own insecurity.
Consequently, when the emotion is lust that is being felt, it will show itself in the form of jealousy. Because your date can only be secure when you are with him or her, they will also be jealous about your achievements, accomplishments and even dreams that you may be striving for.
Jealousy is felt when someone doesn’t have the self-confidence and belief to be ambitious and pursue their own desires and dreams. They therefore feel inferior when others, like yourself, are able to go after and achieve any desires and dreams.
And another emotion close to jealousy that your date will display, if what is being felt is lust and not love, is envy. Jealousy will be displayed through anger but envy is often a more hidden emotion. A date who is envious of something you have achieved or may be doing, will show that emotion by not being very happy or congratulating you on your accomplishment. That’s because deep inside, your date is wishing he or she was the one to be enjoying success and not you. Your date may not even think you actually deserve whatever you may have achieved.
If your date also has a constant and overbearing need to see and be in continuous communication with you, that’s also a sign that it’s really lust that your date is feeling and not love. While communication is important when you are dating and there’s the need to see the person, you both also need space to take care of your own personal business. If that isn’t recognized by your date, then it is certain to cause a problem.
The disadvantage of lust is therefore that it can cause a lot of negative reactions and therefore bad feelings toward someone. But because it also involves emotions that can be positive – such as being passionate – it can also enhance the bond you have with your date.
You need to encourage the positive aspects of love but also curb the negative emotions associated with it. To do that, you need to point out how anything you achieve will also positively affect your date and also instill confidence in your date to seek his or her desires also.