First Date

Dating is a way of seeking to satisfy a basic human need for companionship, friendship and a close association with others. Dating encompasses more however, because these needs can be fulfilled somewhat through ties with family members. Dating is therefore a quest by individuals to establish a relationship or association with someone of the same or opposite sex, to satisfy longings of a deeper nature.

To begin to fulfill those basic but much desired longings, a ‘first date’ must be arranged. At first thought, a ‘first date’ seems simple and self-explanatory – the first date between two individuals. While that’s always the case, a first date could also be the first time ever someone is going on a date. It could also be the first of a type of date – such as a blind date. And a first date could also be the first time that someone is about to begin dating again following a breakup, illness or other event.

Whatever the situation, there are some common features and things to observe on that all important ‘first’ date.’

Among the things common to first dates is anticipation. Anticipation is what embodies or generates the feeling of excitement that is felt before the date actually takes place. The thought of being with someone and of engaging in a fun activity such as dinner, going to the movies or for a walk, should create a good feeling and therefore cause some level of excitement. Having some anticipation about a first date will also help you to evaluate the experience after it is over.

Anticipation about a first date will also likely lead to having some expectation of what the time together should be like. Whatever activities are engaged in, you will be looking to learn about your date. And based on your values, your likes and dislikes, the qualities you want in a partner, you will have some hope or expectations that this first date will reveal some of those qualities and other positive attributes.

Expectation and having some anticipation about a first date are therefore important because it establishes a measure or means of identifying what is or may not be acceptable to you. Whether or not you take a ‘wait and see’ approach, you must have some ideas about what you desire, or have certain preferences.

The extent to which your date shows any of the traits that you prefer can set the tone for future dates, or be an indicator of what potential the date has to become a part of your life.

Though important, expectation and anticipation about your first date has to be managed so that it doesn’t have a harmful or negative effect. This can happen if you are so filled and overwhelmed by what your are thinking – what you are expecting and anticipating – that you expect exactly that to happen. You would then fail to see and to appreciate the true personality of your date. If that happens, then the purpose of going on a date will have been futile and useless.

For the first date, it’s best if you simply ensure that the person meets certain of your basic expectations on qualities such as having acceptable behavior, being courteous, mannerly, and exhibiting appropriate behavior and mannerisms in public.

While it will therefore be virtually impossible for you to not have a high level of anticipation about your first date, you have to make sure it is managed so that it doesn’t become overwhelming and prevents you from enjoying the moment and discovering aspects of your date’s true personality. You therefore don’t want to have so much anticipation and expectation that it obscures the purpose of your first date.


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